All weddings aren't beautiful

How can a wedding planner say that? Well read on, and you'll see what I mean.

Bit late to the party here but the anonymous blog post from a photographer regarding the types of weddings that get on wedding blogs, has really got me thinking. There were many interesting points raised that if I give my opinion on them all, we'll be here all day!

First up, I'll be honest, I've worked on weddings when the couple book me after having already chosen the photographer and when I check them out online my heart sinks a little because I know I won't be able to use them on my blog or website. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the truth. I love weddings, but I also love living and if it's a choice of showcasing every wedding I do so that I do my bit to reflect 'real life weddings' or are selective and therefore get more bookings, I know what I'm sticking with.

But let's be clear here, it's the photography I'm rejecting, not the people getting married. Which is why, whilst anonymous raised some interesting questions I think ultimately it says more about the photographer in question than the weddings themselves.

A good photographer captures spirit, emotion, passion, love and all the other wonderful emotions present at EVERY wedding, even the ones without any bunting, mason jars or DIY elements. Note that I say, a good photographer. of course their job is easier when there are lots of details but a wedding could be photographed on top of a hill with no guests but the witnesses and some sheep. And if the photographer has skill and a good eye, that would get on a wedding blog. So it's not really the details as such it's the eye of the photographer (made me think of eye of the tiger writing that).

Of course there are those function room type weddings that all photographers have to do to pay their bills and no, chances are, even with the best eye in the world that won't get on a wedding blog, or in a magazine. But come on anonymous, such is life!

Here's a cold, hard truth - not all weddings are beautiful. And not all people have taste. The problem with taste is that we all think we have it, but it's a fact of life that not all people do. Some weddings are aesthetically unpleasing. Boring looking, unimaginative and like millions of others. Some couples don't really care about being creative or unique with their weddings. They just want the local hotel, friends, family good food and dancing. A wedding in essence means the same to everyone, but the way people choose to go about it varies as much as our other personal preferences in life vary. And that's their prerogative.

And I as a planner take these jobs, just like wedding photographers do. But I don't promote my business with them always. And quite frankly, that's my prerogative. Just as it is with blogs. Most of the high profile blogs have advertising. They run, or at least want to run, as a business. And a business is not about showcasing every and any wedding. A business is about selecting what sits with your brand and using that to promote yourself. Yes blogs, planners, photographers love weddings but ultimately we're here to make a living.

I disagree that all brides that appear on blogs are gorgeous. There are many who physically would not count as beautiful, but at their wedding, in their dress, marrying the person they love, they are beautiful. And that's what you see.

Wedding blogs act as inspiration. And inspiration is often aspirational. It's not a wedding blog's responsibility to provide an accurate account of real weddings. They're like magazines like that. And how much 'reality' appears in magazines. That's not their role. And you know what? If Annabel, Kat and so on starting showing every wedding that lands in their inbox, their readership would drop off. As it would with all successful blogs. BECAUSE PEOPLE GO TO BE INSPIRED. Sorry for shouting, but no one goes for a slice of real life.

I have never had a bride apologise for her wedding being 'boring' and I market myself as doing 'unique or cool' weddings so if anyone would expect it I would. I do recommend brides limit the amount of blog browsing they do, because yes it can make you feel inferior at times. But brides aren't children or easily influenced teens. They're adults. And not riddled with self doubt by and large as you, anonymous seem to believe.

Which is why, after much thought, I do think that although you have raised an interesting and worth discussing topic, it is ultimately this (and I know you say otherwise) - your weddings don't get published as much as you'd like on the larger blogs.

Perhaps you need to look at your own skill and how you might learn to be a ' better' photographer. Or perhaps you need to realise that wedding blogs are not a slice or real life, just like Vogue isn't. It's an industry, full of businesses that thrive on the pretty, the original, the inspirational and are massively trend led. Just like the fashion and music industries for instance.

And sorry, but all weddings don't need to be loved. That's sweet but a little naive, no? This might be a fluffy, pretty world we inhabit but in essence it's no different from any industry. We're not dealing with vulnerable or at risk individuals.

If you make a perfectly good living photographing weddings, who cares if you don't get them on blogs. I've only had about two weddings featured and I don't give a s**t! Be the best photographer you can be for yourself and your clients, make that your focus. I admire you for starting a dialogue on this, but unfortunately I think it's a case of right back at ya. Unfortunately, if anyone needs to 'get real' as you say, it's you.