Do I exist more online than in real life??

 This picture has no relevance to this post, just using it because I'd like to be 

at the seaside today because the weather is glorious.

I have to admit, before I became a wedding planner I pretty much avoided being online. Okay so I had a Facebook page but that was about it. I certainly couldn't imagine ever that they'd be a time where I'd be 'connecting' with people through so many different mediums. At the moment my online presence includes about 7 different mediums. All of which are business related (except for my personal Facebook page and instagr.am although I imagine this will become about self promotion too).

So now a large part of my day starts with the checking in of all this social media forms. Which is good because it is nice to connect with people when you're technically a freelancer and work alone.

But it does make me wonder whether it's all going to implode in on itself or whether we're just going to get more and more things to sign up to. Which I generally want to because they're quite exciting, (at least at first).

If this is what we have in 2011 I wonder what will be on offer by 2015 say, not just in terms of tools for promoting our small businesses but just generally.

Currently I exist on the following sites:

Website
Blog
Pinterest
Twitter
Facebook
instagr.am
Google +

Phew, exhausting. Is there anything else I've forgotten? What's your favourite online resource/tool? I think if I had to pick, it would be Pinterest, just because it's full of pretty images. It's also a useful resource for brides seeking inspiration. Kind of like the best of all the blogs.

To haggle or not to haggle?

Pound purse from Alphabet Bags

I thought I'd start the week with a contentious issue - the subject of haggling.

There are certain areas of life where haggling is okay/expected and others where it's not.

You go to a car boot sale and they say £10, you say £5 and so on.

But you go to the hairdressers and they say £40, you don't say £25. In fact, can you imagine doing that? The receptionist would look at you like you're crazy and tell you the price is £40. 

So how does this all apply in the wedding industry? Brides are constantly told to get their money's worth and try to negotiate. Which is fine but can lead to this kind of scenario:

Bride: 'How much is your XYZ service?

Wedding planner/photographer/insert any wedding professional: For that service the cost will be ABC.

Bride: I'd like to pay DEF, can you do that?

W.P: Well possibly, but it won't be the above service, it will be JKL.

Bride: But I'd like the XYZ service.

W.P: Well then I'm afraid you'll have to pay for it.

If you're not totally confused by my XYZs and so on, let me try to explain.

I am not saying that trying to get a good deal and negotiating are 'not allowed' in weddings or that it shouldn't be done, but there are ways to go about it that are fair to both parties.

If somebody enquires about a service of mine, I give them the quote based on a variety of factors. This quote is what I feel is fair to both the bride and myself. No one gets into wedding planning to get rich quick! We do it out of love, but do have to try run a business at the same time.

So if the bride tells me that's higher than she expected, I ask her what she wanted to pay. And then where possible I try to create a bespoke package that she can afford but that is financially worth me doing too. So I'll offer less hours, or less meetings, or some way to reduce the price but still be fair. Basically I'm prepared to negotiate. Up to a point.

And the same applies when approaching wedding photographers for instance. If a photographer says on their website their fee is £1800 for 7 hours, and you say you'll give them £1500, the photographer will most likely say no. And be a bit affronted. If you only have £1500, then by all means ask if they are willing to do it for 5 hours for instance.

Negotiating on price in essence is a good thing, (I do it a lot for my clients obviously), but it's the way you do it that counts, especially when it comes to individuals running their own businesses - planners, photographers, stationers etc. These people have set their prices for a reason - it's what they think is fair to both themselves and their clients - and it's important to respect that.

My advice to those dealing with hagglers - be polite and flexible where possible - but don't forget to respect yourself and your business at the same time, otherwise you'll take a job on but be resentful, and that's not worth it for anyone.

Attempting to avoid social media burnout

This pic has no relevance to this post, except that photography is one of my new hobbies. 

Which I have time for now I'm not on Twitter so much.

I'm starting the week with a personal post. About my relationship with Twitter. There has been quite a bit written lately about social media and Twitter in particular and how as a self employed wedding industry pro it can affect you.

I love Annabel and Lucy's posts on the subject and they both got me thinking and made me realise something I hadn't really noticed before.

I 'check' Twitter far too often. Often when I have nothing to say. It's like a compulsion.

And not only that but it makes me feel something I haven't felt since being a geeky teenager, totally left out. There's something about it that sometimes makes you feel as if everybody is going to one big party you haven't received an invitation too. And the desire to 'check' is even more strong on low days. When you've had a bad day, feel threatened by the competition or just generally feel uninspired by yourself.

You know you've got a problem when you're experiencing something -  a nice meal for instance, or you find a good shop and your first thought is, 'ooh, must tweet this'.

So last week I made a decision to only tweet during office hours. From 9 - 5.30 I can tweet my little heart out but the evenings are for my REAL LIFE! No blogging either. Or Facebook. Or any type of social media. I know this sounds dramatic but I want my life back! And I removed the apps from my phone too. How much mindless 'checking' do I do without even noticing it?! I decided to use the time to 'take up hobbies'. Like photography and learning the guitar. How very twee of me, eh?

One of the reasons I became a wedding planner is because I like people. I like engaging with other human beings face to face. There are loads of local people on Twitter that I follow and am interested in. So I made a decision to contact them directly and arrange to meet up for coffee/wine which I've started to do. It's not as easy as tweeting and you can't do it as often but it's much more fun.

Twitter is vital for promoting yourself in the wedding industry. And I ain't no fool. I'm not going to delete my account or do anything drastic. But I am getting some perspective on it all. There's a big wide world out there to explore after all.

I've got to say once again thank you to Annabel and Lucy and all the other posts I've read on this recently. In a small way, you've helped me change my life for the better. And that, I suppose, is proof of the positive power of social media. So it's not all bad ;)

P.S I should point out how amazingly this new plan has been working out. I'm even sleeping better! So newbie wedding planners, watch yourselves, you don't want to get social media burnout like this planner nearly did.

What does a wedding planner actually do? Part 4

The issue of hiring staff...


from doreese illustration and photography


I get a lot of emails from people looking for a job in wedding planning and asking about paid work at Savoir Weddings and thought it was about time I tackled the issue of staff.

From the amount of interest I get it seems everybody wants to be a wedding planner these days. Which I get because it is a rewarding and varied job. So I hope no one finds this patronising, because I'm certainly not saying I know everything, but here's my advice for those of you thinking of becoming a wedding planner.

I can't speak for all wedding planners and the big guns (who don't work on weddings less than £60k) are probably different but most of us don't make enough money to hire full time staff.

I am a full time wedding planner. It took me well over a year to get to this stage. I'm certainly not rich but I make enough to live on which is great. I should point out here incidentally, if you're thinking of becoming a planner or starting a wedding planning biz to get rich, think again. It's incredibly hard work, involves working anti social hours, is at times stressful, and when you work it out per hour it definitely doesn't fall into one of those 'easy money' jobs likes some people seem to think.

So even though I am a full time planner I don't generate enough income to support staff. There is Dan who is involved in the music side of things and I work with interns during particularly busy periods. But whilst I pay the interns' expenses I definitely don't make enough to pay someone else a salary.

And this is quite common according to my fellow wedding planners.

So for those of you who want to become a wedding planner you really need to think whether you're prepared to become a business owner too. Because 99% of people who are wedding planners run their own businesses. So if you really want to do it you have to not only be good at planning/styling weddings, but also self motivating, managing your own time, finances and everything else that goes with running a business.

I don't want to discourage anyone considering a career in wedding planning. I genuinely love my job and often see it more as a way of life than a job. But it's not enough to just love weddings. There's a very high chance you'll have to establish and run your own business to become a planner and that's not a decision to make lightly.

For more on being a wedding planner see here.

What are your thoughts? Fellow wedding planners, do you agree? What about you other freelancers, do you get lots of job applications too?

Should I invite my ex to my wedding?

source Better Living Through Design

This is not necessarily one of the areas of life it's good to say yes to.

The decision as to whether or not to invite an ex to your wedding can be definitely be challenging. And as it's a question a bride asked me the other day I thought it worthy of a blog post.

So, should you invite your ex to your wedding? This is mainly written with brides in mind but it could apply to the boys too.

Obviously don't invite your ex if you're no longer in touch. That's just a bit weird.

But if you're friends, or at least in regular contact it's a little trickier.

It depends on a few factors I think. Here's a rough yes/no guide to try to help you decide.


No if...

The relationship ended badly or was difficult and you best friend/dad hate him and will sit glowering/wondering why you invited him.

You're having an intimate wedding and your ex will stick out like a sore thumb.

His new girlfriend/wife is wary of you or has any not great feelings towards you. You only want people who love you at your wedding.

There's any part of you, even a teeny tiny part that's invited him to show off how beautiful you are and how great your life is.

He's single or has any unresolved feelings towards you. That could just get messy.


Yes if...

You want to and your fiancé is fine with it.

You went to his wedding and enjoyed yourself. And you like his wife.

You genuinely are friends and you see inviting him just like inviting any one of your other friends.

What do you think? If you're married did you invite any exes?

Images, copyright and all that jazz

I know there's a lot written about how to link to images and so on when you're blogging but I thought I'd write a little post on image copyright and how it works when you're using them on your business website.

First up, I ain't no lawyer. Don't quote me on any of this! I have asked a lawyer and researched it but I can't guarantee I'm 100% accurate so please don't sue me. Ha.

So here's a biggie to start with:

All images belong to whoever took them.

That's a fact. But how and when you can use them often strays into what's moral and ethical as well as what's legal.

You don't have to officially 'copyright' a photo for it to be yours. You just have to take it.

The picture of the blossom tree on this page belongs to me. I took it. So if someone googles 'blossom tree' and through the beauty of SEO and the wonder of the internet, finds my photo can they use it? Well generally yes as long as they credit the source, i.e me.

But what if they are starting a gardening company say, and want to use my image to promote their business. The image is still mine. If they contact me and ask my permission I may say yes. Or might not. It's up to me. Regardless of where they find it.

One thing is certain, they should ask me. And if they can't find the source of the image? If for some reason they don't know I took this fab pic what then? Well they shouldn't use it. At all.

Using images on the internet is not a case of finders keepers. Photographers photos are their product. Using their images without permission is like stealing to them. They are naturally protective of their work and so whilst they can't monitor the whole internet, courtesy definitely goes a long way.

Aside from stock images, all images belong to whoever shot them and therefore if you want to use an photo for your website, you have to get permission. This applies to google images too.

When I started blogging I found the whole 'how do you link to images and credit properly' thing confusing. I probably got it wrong many times. The main point with blogs and websites is that you don't take credit for what isn't yours and if you're going to use an image belonging to someone else to promote your business check, then double check you have permission.

I think all wedding planners for instance, especially new ones, struggle when they don't have the images they want for their websites. It's pretty hard to showcase your ideas without good photos.

So team up with a photographer and organise a photo shoot demonstrating your style. That way you get amazing photos that you can use (although remember they always belong to the photographer). It's always far better to wait to launch your business with photos of your work than use images that you found on the internet. Aside from anything else it has more integrity and that's always a good thing.

What are your thoughts fellow bloggers/business owners?

P.S If any gardening business want to use this amazing image that I have taken I may just consider it ;)

I went to a wedding this weekend...

source F**k Yeah! Love!
Not actually my dad and his wife by the way, just a lovely pic.

So some of you might know, especially if you follow me on Twitter that my dad got married this weekend. It was a simple small wedding with just 12 of us. We went to the local registry office and then to a hotel in the country where they'd booked a private room for lunch.

There were some funny moments: when the bride's father (who spoke only Danish) got confused which ring to give when and almost placed the ring on my dad's finger (hilarious all round); and when the registrar mispronounced the bride's name so many times even my dad started saying it wrong by the end just so as not to embarrass her.

And there were some touching moments, such as when my dad's new wife hugged my mum and said they were like sisters now.

It was just like any other wedding really, full of interesting family dynamics and consumption of far too much food and wine.

And at the end of the day it was two people standing up in front of those they care about declaring their love for one another.

So the point of this post I suppose is to say that whilst the details that make a wedding unique are of course essential, the main reason a couple get married is because they're in love. And in the end that's the only detail that really matters.

A bit of a soppy post

I'm feeling in a particularly sentimental mood today and felt like this was a perfect opportunity to was lyrical on my love for my couples.

I can genuinely say I adore each and every couple I'm working with at the moment. They are all so wonderfully unique and their ideas and hopes for their respective weddings completely reflects this.

I will have to quit whilst I'm ahead here before I becoming sickeningly schmaltzy. Suffice to say I never would have imagined a few years back that I would get to run my own business, work creatively with inspiring suppliers (you know who you are!) and meet such diverse and interesting people both in the flesh and in the blogging world.

I guess I want to say a big thank you in particular to my couples for making my job so enjoyable. Some of whom I know read this but won't comment ;)

You guys rock my world!

What does a wedding planner actually do? Part 3

Can you afford a wedding planner?

Um, yeah.

One of the most annoying myths about wedding planners is that we're a luxury for high end weddings and couples with big fat budgets.

Most of my clients have modest but perfectly respectable budgets. As one bride said to me at the weekend: 'We could afford more, but this is what we're comfortable spending on our wedding.'

In my experience the quirkier and more creative the couple are the more likely they are to have a 'budget' wedding. And that's fine by me. Far more enjoyable to work with couples like this!

This doesn't mean I don't and haven't worked with couples with bigger budgets (and by bigger I mean £40k and upwards) it's just the majority of my clients are 'normal' people with 'normal' jobs from 'normal' backgrounds and this is what they can afford.

And I don't see why they shouldn't hire a wedding planner any less than someone with £100k to spend.

Okay so obviously I have to make a living. I know what I can afford to charge prospective clients and I know what wouldn't be possible for me to do. Sometimes I really love hearing about a couples' ideas but they can't afford to hire me as a full planner - so I help them out with a consultation for instance.

Just like there are designer boutiques where you can spend a month's rent on a handbag for instance, there is also Topshop.

In all aspects of life there are options for those with money to spend and those who have to be more careful. And it really really bugs me when people think wedding planners are only for the wealthy.

There are wedding planners who cater to a more luxury driven market and yes, if you've got £20k to spend don't both getting in touch with them. But for all the rest of you wondering if you can afford a wedding planner. You can. To some extent anyway. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

This is the third post in my mini series about life as a wedding planner.

What does a wedding planner actually do? Part 2

The other week I started this little mini series with a post on wedding planning and what hours and where I work. This post is all about how I divide my time between my clients.

Sorry about all the text by the way. No pretty pictures today, this is all about the words!

Firstly I'll make an obvious point. I do have to take on enough weddings to make a living. Whilst I do love my job I do still have bills to pay so I do have to work on more than one wedding a year say to make it work! Having said that one of the key factors in running your own business is the balancing act between having enough clients vs having the time to dedicate to each one.

So I never take on more work than I know I can do well. In fact one of the hardest things in running my own wedding planning business has been having to turn down a wedding job because as much as I'd want to do it, I just don't have the time.

Different couples hire me for different purposes so some will require more work than others. I offer one off consultations on a variety of wedding related things from wedding styling to managing the budget and so on. So these jobs are time intensive for a short space of time, obviously during the consultation and when I write the follow up report. Then the couples go off and plan their own weddings armed with whatever information and help they needed. This is different to the full planning jobs for instance where I work with some couples up to 18 months before their big day. So with full planning jobs it isn't intensive all the time but an ongoing process.

So how do I divide my time?

When I provide checklists and time lines for couples I also draw them up for myself. So I know what I need to be doing for each client by a certain time. And I know which parts of the wedding planning process are most time consuming. The venue search is always the biggy and when this happens I can guarantee that couple will be getting a lot of my time!

Everybody has different ways of working but I tend to roughly map out my week into sections for each client. So I'm always totally focused on one wedding at a time. I don't search for reception decoration ideas for two weddings at a time for instance.

But as much as we planners like to plan, I do have to be flexible as everything revolves around the couple and their needs. Sometimes brides (and grooms) change their mind about what they want or something new crops up in their lives that affects their wedding. So lists and planning is essential but so is being adaptable to new situations.

Certain clients have more demands or a more challenging wedding to plan (tight budget, large guest list, short time to plan). But by having time blocks for each client I can ensure one client doesn't take up more time than another. Even if that sometimes means working late it's the fairest way to ensure every client gets the attention they deserve.

Having said all this, if Kate and Will decide to hire me as their wedding planner for the royal wedding, I wouldn't need any other jobs at all, so if you're reading this Kate please do get in touch.

Joking obviously. I'd rather have all my couples than one royal one. Plus I imagine it will be very traditional which isn't really my bag ;)

What does a wedding planner actually do? Part 1

*my ideal office would look a little like this divine image from coco+kelley*


I know a large part of the people who read my blog are my clients, or potential clients so I thought letting you in to my world and how I work on weddings might be of interest to you.

So I'm going to do a series of blog posts on various different issues/situations/musings and if there's anything in particular you'd like to see here just get in touch josieanddan@savoirweddings.com.

Okay so first up a question I've been asked a fair few times in consultations:

What hours do I work and where do I work?

Since I first became a wedding planner roughly 18 months ago (depending on whether I consider the start of my business when I began researching or got my first client) I have played around with different working hours.

I'm more a night owl than an early bird and find myself most creative late at night so the normal 9 - 5 routine isn't always best for me. Plus a lot of my clients are super busy and have full time jobs so they can only meet in the evening. So in some ways I should work 3pm - 3am or something although that doesn't leave much room for a life.

One thing's for sure, whether it be actual research, networking or thinking about a particular wedding or client I definitely work more than 40 hours a week. Which I imagine is true of lots of self employed people whether they work in weddings or not.

I do a lot of work in the various splendid coffee shops of Dalston and Hoxton (I had an office but the building got sold) and find these kind of environments great for when I want to brainstorm or work on something creative like wedding styling or design. And I work from home the rest of the time which is great for speaking on the phone/more serious research. And also lovely because my desk overlooks a canal which is fairly peaceful.

The one time that I try to keep sacred is my weekend. Partly because otherwise I'd never see my friends or my boyfriend and partly because wedding planning is a full on, passionate, exciting job and I need the weekends to relax and regroup.

What about you? If you're freelance where do you work and what hours do you keep?

The wedding budget

Whilst January is a truly depressing month weather wise, it's a pretty exciting one for recently engaged brides to be. And judging by the amount of enquiries I alone am getting, a hell of a lot of you got engaged during the festive season!

I thought I'd write this post to give a little help to those starting their wedding planning, with or without a wedding planner. Aside from telling people you're engaged and revelling in all the congrats it's pretty much the first thing you should consider. And that is...

... the wedding budget...

I can not tell you the amount of enquiries I get where the bride or groom will explain their ideal wedding and then tell me they haven't considered the budget. Or those that say they're thinking of spending say £20,0000 - £35,000 as if this £15,000 gap isn't rather significant.

I know when you've literally just got engaged and are only just beginning to imagine your big day, you might not have even had a chance to work out what you can afford. Or even discussed with your parents whether they can and want to contribute. And I totally understand that. In fact I salute you for being so organised and contacting me straight away! It's just in my wedding planning experience, the budget is like the elephant in the room with some couples and they would rather plan the whole wedding without really thinking about it.

But, and here's the free advice, before you allow yourself to dream about your ideal wedding, work out what you can afford. Don't decide on the wedding you want and then work out the money later. It will be stressful, upsetting and difficult and if you're not careful will result in you starting married life in debt.

So whilst I don't want to ruin your daydreams of your perfect wedding I do want you all to be realistic, whether you become my clients or not! It will make the whole wedding planning process so much easier if you know what you can afford and will prevent you feeling crushed when you realise that Vera Wang dress you wanted isn't going to be anything other than a pipe dream.

What do you think brides to be? And wedding planners, what are your thoughts on the wedding budget?

*I've written it in purple italics to make it seem less scary :)

Stress! How do you deal with it?

I'm interrupting my venue research temporarily today to write this little post on stress and my advice on how to tackle it.

Working as a wedding planner stress is something I come across a fair amount. Of course couples getting married tend to be stressed, or at least go through stressful times; wedding suppliers can get stressed and believe it or so can wedding planners ;)

We all get stressed about things that rationally we know aren't really important. And we get stressed about things that definitely are important. I'm not sure it really matters what it is that makes you feel stressed, the feeling itself is what's so damn horrible!

But I thought I'd post about what I tell my couples when they go through difficult times, and indeed what I tell myself. Nothing beats stress better than getting out of the situation (when it's possible obviously). So for brides buckling under the pressure of seating plans and guest accommodation; or for wedding industry peeps struggling with an aspect of their business I urge you to take time out. Whether you can only afford an hour or if you're lucky enough to have time to take a day or so off do it. Do anything and everything that doesn't make you think about your current stress.

So for brides to be, go out for dinner with your fiancee and talk about when you first met, or what you want to do in 5 years time. Talk about anything or do anything that isn't to do with your wedding. And same goes for all you wedding suppliers running your own businesses. Go and do something that has nothing whatsoever to do with your business. Nothing benefits your clients more than you having a life outside of work. It clears your head, keeps you calm and when you feel like that you're in a much better position to tackle your stresses without letting them overwhelm you.

Tonight I urge you all to conduct a little experiment. For couples getting married - don't think or talk about your wedding. Put down those magazine and get off those blogs. And wedding professionals do the same. Because in my experience nothing beats distraction and escapism for a little bit of stress relief.

Obviously I am not a psychologist and know next to nothing about stress. This is just my humble advice! What about you. How you you tackle stress in your life?

My dad has become Bridezilla

First up I should stress that I'm not a fan of the term 'bridezilla' but I can say without a doubt, my dad has turned into one.

My dear father recently announced he's getting married (for the third time, ahem) to his lovely bride to be. Wonderful news. Cue champagne and congratulations.

Now I knew it wouldn't be a big shindig and he was unlikely to need my services but I assumed I'd be called upon to assist in some fashion. You know what with being a wedding planner and all.

More fool me.

Now I love him obviously but he's a stubborn bugger at times. He's an academic and believes there's nothing worth knowing that you can't learn from books. So this wedding planning malarky - piffle - there's nothing to it.

Except that it seems he's finding it a touch more stressful than he imagined but true to his character will not ask for advice. And actually all he's planning is a trip to the registry office and booking a table in a local restaurant for 8 of us. All in all not that much more complicated than your average Saturday night.

But my dear papa has decided he wants to get married as soon as possible and then go off on a lovely honeymoon. Except his bride hasn't found an outfit, he can't choose a restaurant and can't find a country or hotel he wants to go on honeymoon to.

But the pressures of wedding planning seem to be getting to him and he's quickly realising that despite it being a very small do, wedding planning can sometimes be a big fat pain in the you know what.

I have to be honest, it's a tiny bit amusing. And it's even more funny that he is the most nightmarish 'client' ever and I'm not even helping him. Just listening is painful enough!

So father dear, if for some insane reason you have stumbled across my blog - I can help you.

I am a wedding planner. As in I plan weddings.

Has the same thing happened to you? If you work in the industry have you ever helped someone close to you plan their big day? Was it as 'interesting' as my experiences with my dad?!

Savoir Weddings trends 2011

Way back when 2010 was still fresh I wrote a post on what I thought would be big in weddings in 2010.

And I thought it about time to compile my list for 2011.

I'm just a wedding planner admittedly, not some kind of wedding guru so these wedding trends for 2011 are just what I think, and I have to admit, what I want to see more of.

2011 is going to be the year of Personalisation. So much so I'm pretty sure I just invented a new word for it.

Since I have been wedding planning the industry and indeed weddings have become more adventurous, fun and well, interesting. 2011 brides are more conscious of their options than ever before and increasing numbers of couples are going for what in the past only the quirky couples did.

Brides are increasingly influenced by the amazing blogs which are showcasing beautiful and personal weddings, more than done justice by the work of some exceptional photographers.

More and more couples are aware they don't have to follow the rules and can have a day that incorporates all that is them. This = personalisation and I reckon 2011 is only going to get more exciting.

Which sort of leads me on to...

Eclectic weddings



A little bit 20s, a little bit 50s? This couple mixed up quaint vintage tea cups with some retro style for an elegant and individual day. Check out photographer Chloe from Caught The Light's blog for more.

I think we're going to see more couples mixing styles, periods and themes to create a truly personal day. It's not going to be about the modern wedding, the shabby chic wedding, the marquee wedding. It's going to be about the mix and match.

The vintage inspired look will develop in 2011. Yes there will still be tea cups, bunting and the like but I don't think it's going to be as themed. I see couples bringing in aspects they like and mixing them up more with more modern trends - a bit of a modern vintage.

Wedding styling has evolved so much in just the past couple of years and judging by the creativity and wants of my clients alone I think we're going to see more and more confidence in the way couples style their wedding. Wedding styling will be less about 'getting the look right' and more about artfully incorporating different styles that the couple likes.

Mixing it up is going to be the way forward.


Colour pops

I've blogged about this before and I think 2011 weddings will definitely be incorporating pops of colour. This 'trend' is versatile and works with all sorts of wedding style from modern to rustic to vintage, hence the reason we'll see more of it.





Bow ties and interesting boutonnieres will reign supreme



2010 saw more grooms embracing the bow tie look. In 2011 I think we'll be seeing more and more grooms exploring their stylish side with quirky boutonnieres.


DIY ain't going nowhere



Brides are going to be getting their craft on just as much if not more than in 2010 like the bride above who made the most incredible bouquet. Maybe it's partly down to budget and the fact doing some things yourself is just cheaper. But it also allows a lot of brides to really explore their own talents and time permitting many really enjoying crafting decorations for their weddings.


DIY flowers

Not that I anticipate florists will become obsolete, just that for budget brides, doing the flowers yourself is a a great way to save money. I think florists will start to offer consultations and sourcing flowers for brides and allow them to pick up and arrange themselves. Especially if the single- bloom-in-bottle sticks around, as this is obviously a lot easier for a flower arranging novice to achieve.


Say goodbye to round tables







One of the first things most clients say to me with regards to the venue is - 'we don't want round tables', or ' we don't want a top table'.

Think the bride and groom sitting at their own 'sweetheart table', a mixture of different size tables and chairs, no seating plan.

All of which makes for a more flexible and relaxed evening and is perfect for complicated family dynamics. Plus it looks interesting in photos and allows for unique table design for each table.


Food will be less fancy

Again this is perfect for the budget savvy bride. Formal 3-4 course wedding breakfasts are going to be even less common than they already are. Buffets, finger food, Mediterrean style table plates - anything that's more sociable and cheaper (less catering staff costs) is going to be popular. Taste is going to reign supreme over formality.


Cocktails



I always recommend serving cocktails to my clients. They are a perfect opportunity to have fun and be creative and they're great if your budget restricts what time you open the bar. You can be much more economical with the alcohol and no one will know!


Dessert tables



Perfect if you've served buffet style food - why not extend it to dessert. Often cheaper than a 'proper' wedding cake, you can serve a variety of sweet treats and it's a great styling opportunity.


Videography

People communicate so much online these days and if you're better at your modern technology than me you can create yourself a pretty unique little save the date (or hire someone to do it for you) This concept could work well for invitations as well I think.

Save the Date: Blair and Maggie from Squid and Beard on Vimeo.

On the whole filming notion - I expect we'll see more wedding videography as couples look for this in addition to having a fabulous photographer.


Playing around with the timings and traditions

For example:

- both parents walk the bride down the aisle
- have speeches during a drinks reception not before the wedding breakfast
- cut the cake before the meal
- have the bride give the first toast

We've all been to those weddings where it looks pretty and all but it's very predictable and there's just no surprises.

I'm not saying we'll see tradition disappearing altogether, just that couples will and should play around with the key moments of the wedding reception especially. This is a key way to keep guests entertained and enjoying themselves.

After parties




Many venues have strict kicking out times and whilst for many by 11.30pm they're ready for bed, others want to carry on partying and an after party is the perfect way to do this. At a bar, your house, another carefully selected venue wherever you choose to do this you can guarantee it will be more relaxed and as they're be less family members and more friends present, you can really let your hair down.

The desire to end your wedding when you're ready rather than the venue permits, is definitely part of the appeal of hiring a country house for a weekend or longer and again this is something I'm hearing more of from my clients.

That's it! I'm going to have to stop here or else this is going to turn into the longest post of all time. I'm dying to hear what you think will be big in 2011. And for that matter what do you think we'll be seeing less of?

How to ensure your wedding reception rocks

The key ingredients to a successful wedding reception

First things first. It's a party. Whether it's fancy and formal or laid back and casual, it's a party. Ok, a party with a big budget and a lot of pressure to be great, but a party nevertheless.

Once you realise this you can break down the key components and ensure your wedding reception kicks ass.

I have thrown many many parties in my time, from Halloween parties to 20s parties to informal gatherings to big-fat-last-all-night-hootennanies. Some of them have been great and others not so much but if there's one good thing that's come of them all is that I know you have to plan a good party. And that definitely applies to your wedding reception too.

I don't mean plan in a Monica from Friends way, I just mean you can't rely on the assumption that as all your favourite people are there, the party will just work. No, in my experience, it needs some careful consideration. But the sort of planning that ls flexible and leaves room for spontaneity and fun.

So, the key ingredients to a successful wedding reception are three fold:

1) Enough, and decent food and drink
2) A comfortable, well lit and well styled space
3) A well thought out sound track

I have said before and definitely will again, wedding guests should be treated like toddlers - they need regular feeding, watering and entertaining. And if you get that right, you'll have a killer wedding party.

So..

Food & Drink

- Feed people small amounts often rather than make them wait for one big wedding breakfast. Definitely don't leave it until 6pm to feed guests if you're ceremony was at 1pm. They will get bored, irritable and some inevitably too drunk by this point.

-Similarly if you're serving a light buffet or tea party early afternoon, don't provide too much food or else no one will be hungry for the main meal that you've spent the most money on.

- Keep guests watered often. If you have to stagger bar opening times because of budget serve mini cocktails or something similar to prevent guests from getting parched and give them something to talk about.


A well styled space

Okay, so firstly you have to work with your wedding venue, not against it. Really look at the space your guests will be eating, dancing, and drinking in. This is the room to concentrate on. From grand halls, to barns to marquees there aren't many spaces that with the right styling, can't be made into the ultimate party space. So look at your wedding reception room. What does it feel like? If it wasn't your wedding how would it make you feel? How can you work with the space to enhance the atmosphere you want your wedding to have? Think about lighting, comfort, warmth, journey to the toilet and out for a cigarette. Try to imagine the 'journey' your wedding guest will go on.


Your wedding soundtrack

Obviously music is very important to me and this is the one area I would obsess on were I getting married. From when the guests arrive, to during dinner, to the after dinner dancing, to the full on party when the oldies have gone home, I would plan nearly every single song.

We've all had those nights out with friends in a bar when the music just isn't quite right. Maybe it's too loud, too cheesy, not cheesy enough, whatever it is, it just kills the vibe. And even though you're out with your best friends, the night just isn't working. Well the same thing happens at a wedding reception. So you have the think carefully - the music you have at your reception should definitely be what you as a couple love - but you also can't turn off your guests. Unless granny loves a bit of dubstep, chances are you should save that until later. But I'd advise really exploring your music options as there's plenty of songs and genres that all generations love.


That's it! What do you think? Any other key aspects to successful party planning?

The power of positive thinking

Oh my god I'm so stupid?
I look fat in this.
Why oh why am I so useless?
Could I be any more boring?


When you see this written down it looks kind of shocking and dramatic. But I bet you've felt and said at least one of these things to yourself before.

If you're a regular follower of my blog you'll know I sometimes tread off the beaten path of blogging about weddings into 'life' territory. It's just that wedding planning isn't a job to me, it's part of my life and as such this blog feels like the perfect platform to wax lyrical on other topics. See here, here and here for some of my other musings.

After a long chat recently with a friend who has by her own admission low self esteem, I've been thinking about the power of positive thinking. Now I don't want to get all spiritual or lecturing here, I just think it really works and want to share.

Most of us are way too mean to ourselves, too critical, too unkind and don't even begin to show the same mercy and understanding we show others. We tell ourselves things that if a friend said to us about themselves we would vehemently deny and point out the positive or contradictory viewpoint. Okay so we're crueler to ourselves because we know ourselves. But we're also massively biased. Even with something as innocent as a spot on our chin say. We all think people notice soooooo much more than they do, because of course they're all concerned with their own problems.

So nothing I'm saying here is groundbreaking granted. But I do think, one of the keys to a happy life is to train your 'inner voice' to have the same tone and say the same things a kind friend would say. That doesn't mean tell huge fat fibs to yourself in order to have an easy life, just that the instinctive way you speak to yourself might not be as honest as you think. And we've heard this voice all our life so it almost goes unnoticed.

I'm not claiming this is a quick fix for those seriously and clinically depressed. But for the rest of us, we can all benefit from taking the time to hear what that voice says and begin to question whether it really has all the answers.

I know the days I feel overwhelmed or blue are often the result of a bad day. But sometimes I catch myself thinking ' why did you do/say/wear/think that - you idiot!' And whilst it seems like harmless berating, I try to argue back ' no, you're the idiot actually, I'm just fine'. Or just generally be aware of what I say to myself so I can check if it seems too harsh or not.

Which may mean I'm going crazy, but also means I'm a damn sight happier.

What do you think? Are you guilty of being harsher on yourself than your friends or even strangers? Do you think you can 'talk' yourself 'happy'?

As always, I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

When is the 'right time' to have babies?

Apologies here for the somewhat dramatic nature of this post. I felt it was a suitable way to jump start my Tuesday!

Weddings and babies seem to go hand in hand. Probably because for many people having children is the next logical step after getting married.

Like many late twenty somethings, (yes okay, I'm 30 at the end of next year) I have pondered this question of the 'right' time to have bambinos. I love children and definitely want them. When, I'm not quite sure, and being recently single it doesn't exactly look likely for a while ;)

And there's so many questions surrounding having children.

How will I know if I'm going to be a good mum? How will I balance running my own business and raising a family? Will I still exist after I give birth or will I forever be know as mum?

And how long am I allowed to live without thinking about it? Will I turn into one of those, oh I so hate the word, desperate women, who feels like she's running out of time.

Urgh. What horrible thoughts!

It's a sad fact about womanhood that we can't physically have babies forever and because of that truth, will definitely look at our lives and wonder when we should have children, when the right time will be, and whether we'll even be able to. Yes. I am jealous of men in this regard. Charlie Chaplin anyone?

And it seems you're not even off the hook if you're married. I have a few married, so far childless friends who are always been asked when they're going to pop out a couple of sprogs. Questions which they feel defensive and slightly p***ed off about.

I think my point is that getting older and thinking about babies is hard. At 18, 21, 24 I thought about it, but in an abstract way. As I approach the big three-oh it's on my mind a bit more. I'm quite envious of my friends that know they don't want children. How lovely it must be to be sure. You can plan your future much easier in that regard.

Even me with my planning skills can't know the future. I might steal Jolie's crown as international adopter of a beautiful rainbow of children, I might have just one of my own or I might never have children. Whatever ends up happening, I'll get on with things and make the best of the cards I've been dealt. As that's all any of us can do really, and I guess that's part of the wonder and beauty of life.

What are your thoughts then on the whole 'baby thing'?

Monday Medley - Wedding inspiration from the world wide web

Here follows some pretties you may or may not have come across... perfect to look at with coffee and doughnuts this Monday AM I think.

This bride's dress and accessories are vintage divine. And look so pretty with the wildflower bouquet. If you read the full post on Hi Fi Weddings you can see the music they played at their day too.



And for a totally different style bouquet, check out this explosion of colour..



I seem to be having a bouquet day as I can't take my eyes of this beauty either. Found via the always pretty forget.me.knot.weddings, it's the colours that do it for me.



These may be some of the finest wedding shoes I've seen in a while. I mean, check out those ruffles! In fact the whole wedding is the epitome of style.



A super cute pic of Kat of Rock n Roll Bride fame shot by the never-gets-it-wrong Emma Case.



This day looks like muchos muchos fun. So much so that I had to post 3 photos.







And this is amusing is it not?!



Well I don't know about you but I had a pretty mental weekend, meeting long lost cousins amongst other exciting but exhausting things, so now I'm looking forward to a fresh new week. I'm meeting a few of my lovely brides, meeting some new suppliers and getting started on one of my new ventures.

And in other news... the wondrous Anna is to be a wife in a mere 12 days. Like many of you I have always looked forward to Anna's intelligent and interesting spin on wedding and un-wedding related things and hope she won't stop writing once she's married. I am super duper excited to catch up this week for a gossip, and hoping Liv (aka Blushless) and Charley (aka London Bride) might be free for wine and chats also ;)

So what's getting you excited for this week?

The 'vintage' backlash?

I'm going to use the phrase 'wedding trends' in this post warily, as I am well aware I'm making grand statements here! Plus, this is kind of a wordy post but bear with me, and let me know what you think!

So, we all like to think we're a little bit unique but when it comes to style, fashion, design, and wedding planning, amongst many other things, we are definitely influenced by trends. Where they come from and why they're popular is another matter but I think we'd all agree, that they exist is unquestionable.

And whilst there are very different style weddings taking place all over the world there are certain 'trends' that any subscriber to all the big wedding blogs will be familiar with.

The 'vintage' (and I use this term loosely) style wedding is still hugely influential. And chances are if you read a lot of wedding blogs and magazines, you'll know exactly what I mean by a vintage wedding without much explanation. Soft, dreamy photography, pale pastel colours, cupcakes, bunting, the whole 'shabby chic' thing - you get the gist.

Perhaps a key to it's success is that it's also easily obtainable for DIY weddings or budget weddings. It can look amazing for relatively little money which was maybe influenced and therefore so popular, by the world wide economic situation. Being flashy was somehow uncouth. It was all about quirky, personal weddings and the shabby chic, vintage wedding was a perfect fit.

I have to say personally I do love this style. I like the romance, the dreaminess. And for this matter I think it naturally suits weddings. And when it comes to wedding trends, whilst we might all be influenced that doesn't mean we should necessarily pay attention. Like in fashion, if something is popular and it suits you - great - but you shouldn't buy into something if it isn't you. So if vintage weddings start to become less prevalent that doesn't mean you shouldn't have one if it's what you like.

But I've been wondering lately what's next. The wedding industry is like any other it shifts and changes shape, reflecting moods and cultural happenings. Maybe in this new post recession world things are going to change and I've been wondering what this will mean in weddings.

Change is good. In any industry and in fact in your personal life change is important. It shakes you up a bit and makes you reassess what you like, what's important. That's not to say I think vintage inspired weddings will die a sudden death, I just think they're going to adapt and develop, like everything does and I'm kind of excited about what will come.

I'm interested in what you think. Is a 'vintage' wedding your thing or will you be glad to embrace a new style? What do you think the Next Big Thing will be? Or what do you want it to be?

I'm going to save my opinions about what's next for another post but I have to say, I hope it involves bright splashes of colour., a little bit of edge. I'd love to plan or style a wedding with a bride telling me she wants it BOLD!