Saturday, 2 April 2011

Should I invite my ex to my wedding?

source Better Living Through Design

This is not necessarily one of the areas of life it's good to say yes to.

The decision as to whether or not to invite an ex to your wedding can be definitely be challenging. And as it's a question a bride asked me the other day I thought it worthy of a blog post.

So, should you invite your ex to your wedding? This is mainly written with brides in mind but it could apply to the boys too.

Obviously don't invite your ex if you're no longer in touch. That's just a bit weird.

But if you're friends, or at least in regular contact it's a little trickier.

It depends on a few factors I think. Here's a rough yes/no guide to try to help you decide.

No if...

The relationship ended badly or was difficult and you best friend/dad hate him and will sit glowering/wondering why you invited him.

You're having an intimate wedding and your ex will stick out like a sore thumb.

His new girlfriend/wife is wary of you or has any not great feelings towards you. You only want people who love you at your wedding.

There's any part of you, even a teeny tiny part that's invited him to show off how beautiful you are and how great your life is.

He's single or has any unresolved feelings towards you. That could just get messy.

Yes if...

You want to and your fiancé is fine with it.

You went to his wedding and enjoyed yourself. And you like his wife.

You genuinely are friends and you see inviting him just like inviting any one of your other friends.

What do you think? If you're married did you invite any exes?


  1. One can invite one's ex to one's wedding if both share a good friendship and if the fiance is agreeable. If the relationship with the ex is not in good order then it makes no sense to invite said ex. Have a sweet Monday;-)

  2. Well said, you can't argue with that now ;)

  3. Totally agree with the comment above ... I personally have a few really good male friends who I've been involved with in the past, my other half met them very early on in our relationship, and I wouldn't think twice about inviting them to our wedding if it happened.

  4. Fashion, Art and other fancies said it best!
    Otherwise, I haven't kept in touch with any so there's no point!

    Chic 'n Cheap Living

  5. These are fabulous rules to live by! Such a sticky situation :)

  6. My fiancé and I had this discussion just yesterday. I would like to invite my first boyfriend to ours. We were 17 when we went out and always more friendly than lovey - we are still in touch occasionally to this day. I don't think there's any reason not to, and fortunately the fiancé agrees, so it looks like that's one argument we won't be having. Phew!

  7. I am lucky we met at 18 and I find it difficult to recall the names of previous flings (although can one fling at 16?)

    Great piece, common sense!

  8. I don't think there is a right or wrong its what suits you both at the time - if there is a genuine friendship you've invited a friend - if there isn't why would you?


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